A World in 3-D

There's an advert that plays every time before a movie is shown at Cineworld. You may have seen it - it's quite pretty to look at, with hand-drawn scrawlings that create various film-related scenes. There's a boxer punching the screen Raging Bull-style, a Bollywood dancer and a few other generic images that play out over a gently lulling musical score.

But, as inoffensive as the visuals and music are, there's a moment in this ad that just sticks out like a great monolithic turd - namely, when the words "experience a world in 3D" are emblazoned on the screen.

Firstly, the world is in 3D. It'd be pretty fucking ridiculous if it wasn't, as we'd all be running around like Mario in an 8-bit NES game. You can't really have a new experience - such as in this case the enjoyment of a world in 3D - when you actually enjoy that experience every single day. It's a foolish and inane tag line and, while, yes I know the ad makers are highlighting the "unique" experience of 3D movies, they should have found a better way to do so.

The second problem is that this advert is designed to highlight 3D movies in the first place - which are predominantly awful. Yes, Avatar may have been very pretty but the 3D revolution currently infesting cinemas is a gimmick that needs to stop. Every animated film these days is presented in 3D, for little other reason than to make extra money for its distributors. There's no artistic merit for 3D to be included in the vast majority of these films - but yet, we're forced to pay an additional £3-£5 for the privilege of contracting myopia from the Jarvis Cocker-esque glasses that are required for these glorious 3D "spectacles". Oh, and you have to look like a twat while wearing them as well.

It was a good idea at first - a creative way to present cinema that would breathe life into some of the stale blockbusters and, possibly, raise attendances at cinemas. But it's now just getting silly. There needs to be an end to studios enforcing 3D as a way to hide the fact that they've invested in a product that displays the shoddiest writing, casting and acting - and put a halt to them treating audiences like they're morons. I'm sure Madagascar 3 or Transformers "Whatever the hell Michael Bay wants to blow up this time" will still see audiences flocking to cinemas this summer. However, it's just mean to give their wallets an extra mugging because some shit-eating exec has decided these supposed masterpieces have to be in 3D.

Anyone got a chair?

When I was a kid, I was a big fan of professional wrestling. Even now, the spectacle of behemoths battering the hell out of each other - preferably with weapons of some sort - still makes me chuckle.

The trouble is that much of the output you see on TV or pay-per-views is heavily scripted, with little or no chance for improvisation or genuine surprise. Which makes occasions like the one in this video even more special.

Yes, that's two chaps in the ring calling for someone to throw them a chair, presumably so they can clock their opponent round the head with it. I guess they didn't expect to have that kind of reaction...

Post Break Up Sex

Being featured on NME's "bands to watch out for" shortlist isn't exactly something to sign and dance about these days. The average reader tends to be a skinny jean-wearing, wannabe indie poseur living in a flea-infested hovel in Camden who rabidly proclaims Pete Doherty to be the defining poet of his generation. And unless you actually want to move in the same circles as these oxygen thieves, its best to avoid the magazine altogether.

However, on rare occasions, the publication can unearth a decent band worth listening to - and its latest 2011 list has thrown up the work of The Vaccines. A London-based group whose debut album is currently in the works, they're a kind of hybrid between some of the early work of the Strokes and Interpol, which is no bad thing.

Their single Post Break Up Sex is a great tune and deserving of more than just being taken up as the latest fad by Camden's cool crew. Hopefully they'll be able to develop their sound and achieve a longevity sadly lacking in many of their recent contemporaries.

Books and Boats

A quick post to showcase the work of Ben T-D, a Glasgow-based Antipodean songwriter tipped for great things in 2011 with his band Open Swimmer.

This is a promo video for a catchy song of his called Books and Boats, written when he was still primarily doing solo projects. However, if his latest output is as good as the stuff he was doing a couple of years ago, then I'm very interested to hear more.

Bonus points for the fact that it is also a very good video - a rarity with any unsigned artist. Animator Jenny Baynes does top work here and should hopefully command some serious attention from mainstream artists in the future.

Check out Ben's debut album Tiny Movements on Spotify. It's well worth a listen.

Seeing the Woods from the Twee

There seems to have been a bit of a shift in recent years away from music offerings that are, well, a bit on the twee side. Looking back at the late 90s, there was a plethora of small town musings and alternative folk that, more often than not, hit the mainstream.

Belle & Sebastian, the Divine Comedy and Camera Obscura were among the finest purveyors of this kind of experimental twee-pop, but even some of the bigger hitters weren't afraid to tread this path from time to time. Just listen to His n' Hers or Different Class by Pulp or the Sophtware Slump by Grandaddy to hear some mighty fine examples of whimsical mimsy from a beygone age.

It's good to see that there are still some bands around at the moment that can string a good piece of twee-ness together, though. Glasgow-based Open Swimmer are pretty impressive, as are indie stalwarts Unkle Bob - both of whom are worth checking out live. However, I've also been highly impressed with Southampton four-piece Doyle & the Fourfathers, whose upcoming single is posted below.

Yes, their lead singer looks like the 12-year-old younger brother of Rory from Doctor Who and, admittedly, the rest of the band are so fresh-faced I'd be amazed if they're out of their teens yet. But dammit, it's a good tune. It's the kind of song I'd expect to hear if Neil Hannon got drunk and decided to mate with every current and former member of Belle & Sebastian. Which, come to think of it, isn't really an image that should ever be contemplated at all...

Alternative rock bands use flutes now. Flutes are cool...

I always enjoy seeing bands deviating from the usual guitar/bass/drums/vocals combo. Not that there's anything wrong with this arrangement, of course - hell, most of the biggest and best groups from the past 40-50 years have stuck by this tried and tested format. However, it just makes a nice change to hear something a bit different in the mix; whether it's a background fiddle, piano or the strains of a brass section.

So I'm delighted to hear this brilliant offering from the awesomely-named Wolf People, which must be the first piece of rock music to use a flute since the pomp-fuelled hey-day of Iain Anderson's Jethro Tull. It's just a fantastic tune, nicely harking back to the early prog-rock offerings of the late 60s and early 70s from groups such as Tull, Yes and Focus, but arranged for a modern audience.

I'd be intrigued to see what these gents sound like live, but in the meantime I thoroughly recommend anyone should listen to their new album Steeple.

And another thing...

As indicated in the title, this blog won't just about analytical musings, rants or meanderings. After spending the best part of half a decade shunning the modern music scene, I'm trying to take the plunge back into what today's bands and songwriters have to offer.

In part, this is a backlash against the tepid chart music pop-olocaust that is currently infecting the nation's ipods and digital radio output - presided over by chief X-Factor fuhrer and arse-hat Simon "The Cunt" Cowell. In fact, scratch that. It's ALL about starting a backlash against that prick, who is almost single-handedly responsible for the horrific auto-tuned warblings from the army of pop pixies that we are subjected to day after sodding day.

It's a challenge that I hope others will follow - if only to highlight that there is a healthy alternative out there that is ready to be discovered and nurtured. Who knows? I may even try to post a new video or link every day (well, maybe every week. Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves).

Until then, here's a happy tune from folk punk troubadour Frank Turner to cheer everyone up.